Hi all,
A little about myself. I recently graduated from college and is now applying for medical school. For all of those that went through the process and are in medical school, you should know what I feel like right now. If your answer is not in the range of total dispair then you are not welcome to continue to read this blog. to continue, when I graduated from highschool, I thought everthing was going to be a breeze that life was going to be a breeze. I cruise through highschool while playing hours of videogames. Mind you, my highschool was one of the top ranked highschool. I graduated with high honor and got accepted into UC Berkeley. Life was great. However, little did I know that my life would start falling apart as I enter college.
The phrase big fish in a little pond fits my situation to a T. When I entered college, I thought I can cruise through another 4 years and get a job. Even when I got my first midterm back, I thought I was doing fine. Minimal study and still two standard deviation above. However, I was in for a big surprise when second round of midterms come around. While I was taking the midterms, I knew I was in deep trouble. It the feeling of complete helplessness as I stare blankly at the test before me. Then comes the denial. "The other students must be shocked at how hard the test is... yes that must be it." Deep down, you know you're just fooling yourself. In a class of 600+ students, the bell curve usually applies. There will be champions that emerge on top of a pile of bodies and there is me right at the bottom getting piled on. I remember the feeling, even to this day, when I got back my exam. 2.5 standard deviations below the mean. To all those who are not familiar with how standard deviations work, assuming normal distribution in the class, 2.5 standard deviations below the average means that I am at the bottom 10% of the class. To those who think that this is just for one class.... nope. I got 2.5 standard deviations in all my classes during my 2nd round of midterms. The only class that I didn't get 2.5 standard deviations below was in my writing class where there's no numerical score and the grade there wasn't pretty either. As I continue down my journey through undergraduate, I started coping with my situation and made the most out of it. i started studying much harder and was able to pull my grade out of the shithole into the land of mediocracy.
all of this time, the desire to go to medical school was never there...
The only reason that i decided to try to go to medical school was because my mom thought I like biology so much that being a doctor would be a good profession. BTW, I like biology just as much as my other subjects which is not very much. Although I must say, i like biology much more than spanish since for some reason language just doesn't come natural to me. This would suggest that the other subjects come naturally to me so i should rephrase... It's a miracle that I learn how to speak English. My elementary teacher thought I was retarded because I had trouble with basic grammatical structure which to this day I still have trouble with.
blah... to be continued... I have to get back to work at my mediocre job. Med school.... where art thou?
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